You and Your GPS Suck

I’m on my way to work the other day and as usual it was pleasant(you should be reading this and hearing a VERY sarcastic tone.) It’s never fun, trucking back and forth, up and down the turnpike and parkway…surrounded by idiots.

My favorite idiot this week had to be the guy from Maryland in the Dodge Avenger. He tied up people all along the Newark-Bay Extension, also known as the never ending exit 14 on the turnpike that leads you to the Holland Tunnel. There was a fair amount of traffic on the day in question, so it was hard to maneuver…and of course I wind up behind this asshole. Who spends most of his time hitting his breaks because he’s not paying attention to where he’s driving…he’s too busy watching his fucking GPS.

What is wrong with people? Seriously? How the fuck does anybody manage to get anywhere anymore. I understand he’s from Maryland and not familiar with Jersey roads. But, I’ve been to Maryland…AND I DIDN’T NEED A FUCKING COMPUTER TELLING ME WHERE TO TURN. I just don’t get it. He couldn’t just Google the damn directions before he left? Oh…I’m sure he didn’t want to have to keep looking down and reading them off the paper because that would be hazardous. As if him staring at the computer all the way across his windshield wasn’t. I know those stupid things talk…they even come with fancy accents you can switch to. Australian, southern…French fucking whore…why stare at it? You’re screwing everybody else’s day up.

And as far as GPS is concerned…I know they’re not 100% accurate. I’ve been in the car with one that gave me the wrong directions. So there. And from what I hear from my friend Kit, they will drive you off a cliff if you’re not paying attention. So there you go asshole, you keep staring at the stupid thing and it will drive you straight into the Hudson River. Whatever…you’ll be out of my way then.