Helloooo Stutter

So I’m at The Ark the other night, a nice quiet weekday night. There’s not a whole lot going on as X and D are on their way out the back door to smoke a cigarette. I told them I’d meet them out there after I went to the bathroom.

In the girls room I go and I’m just about done and I hear the door open. And somebody with noisy high heels had entered. I didn’t really think anything of it. That was, until I opened up the stall door and saw a SUPER-HOT model looking girl standing there. Trendy hair, trendy clothes. The whole nine yards. She smiled at me and I instantly kicked into retard mode…

Model: Hi

B: Uh..uh...uh...yeah..uh..uh..hey.

She just laughed and went into the stall. I exited the bathroom embarrassed at how uncool I am sometimes with girls. I don’t understand what happens to me. My normally charming, irresistible persona transforms into this blubbering idiot. Fuck. I’m cute, but I’m not that hot and I need my charm and wit at or very near 100% with the girls. It’s crucial.

I headed over to the bar to ask K who she was. He had no idea, but had also noticed just how hot she was. And then made some dirty comment about her and I in the bathroom. If he only knew what really went on. K said she came in the back door, so this is perfect. I was headed out there to smoke a cigarette with D and X anyway. Out I go and ask them if they saw the girl. X didn’t think she was that cute and she was too skinny for him. D said she didn’t think she was that cute either…but I’m thinking she might have been a little jealous. Sorry D!

Anyway, out comes hot girl. She opens the back door and walks out to a very awkward silence. She sashays over to the car that was waiting for her, turning The Ark parking lot into a catwalk (which is no easy feat). She knew she was getting checked out and just as she was about to get in the car she turned back to us, smiled and said,

M: Thanks for the silence.

All I managed to do was wave. D and X were cracking up.