So every Thursday night at The Ark is trivia night. A bunch of us used to go every week and play until it got too crazy and loud and stopped being fun. I actually hadn't been there on a Thursday night in a while, when K decided we should go there last Thursday for a drink.
Trivia was well under way and we weren't planning on playing, so we grabbed a seat at the bar and ordered our drinks. Well, it's kind of hard not to participate when you can hear all the questions being answered. Plus, the bartenders were playing and everybody around you winds up disucssing the questions that they're asking.
I'm really just trying to watch the Yankee game, when one question that seemed to stump a lot of people came up...What country starts with the letter O? J the bartender seemed to think it was Oman, a country in the Middle East. I wasn't sure, but it did sound familiar to me. K was not convinced though...
K: Is it Ottawa?
B: No...Ottawa is a city in Canada.
K: Oh. It must be Ontario then.
B: (Shaking my head) No, Ontario is a state in Canada.
(And before you all start commenting me to remind me that Ontario is not a state, but actually a province...I know. It was just easier to explain to K that it was a state. I would have f*cked her whole night up if I threw a new big word at her like province.)
K: Oh. I don't know what it is then.
I thought the whole Canadian problem was over with...but no, here comes H, one of the waitresses there.
H: I thought it was Ontario.
K just laughed...I explained that it was a state in Canada and went back to watching the Yankee game. I know K was serious, but I'm kind of hoping H knew better...
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Jay Z Album
So I'm definitely not big into rap/hip-hop at all, but I have to say the new Jay Z album is really great. Empire State of Mind with Alicia Keys is so good...and Run this Town with Rihanna...I love it.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Kanye West
IS THE BIGGEST DOUCHE BAG ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
I'm done yelling now. I'm pretty sure the name "Kanye" means loudmouth asshole in some African tribal language.
I'm done yelling now. I'm pretty sure the name "Kanye" means loudmouth asshole in some African tribal language.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Congratulations Derek!
As most of you know, I am a die hard Yankee fan. And one of my favorite players is Derek Jeter. He is the epitome of class, on and off the field. Last night, he tied Lou Gehrig's record for most hits as a Yankee with 2,721. Just so you know, that's more hits than Don Mattingly had (2,153), than Yogi Berra had (2,148), than Joe DiMaggio had (2,214)and more than many other Yankee greats, like Mickey Mantle and Babe Ruth.
Last night's hits also landed him in a tie with Gehrig at #53 on the all time hits list. Yeah Jeter!
Last night's hits also landed him in a tie with Gehrig at #53 on the all time hits list. Yeah Jeter!
Friday, September 4, 2009
I've Got Legs, and Apparently, Don't Know How to Use Them
So I've been shaving my legs regularly upwards of twenty f*cking years now. Yet, for some reason, almost every time I partake in this silly ritual, I slice the shit out of myself. What gives? I'm going to have to go back to using that stupid flicker razor thing that little girls use when they first start shaving their legs.
OOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
I'm only writing about this because I just shaved my legs and took a chunk out of the back of my leg. Happy Labor Day weekend...off to a great start. Thankfully my capri pants will cover the wound.
OOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
I'm only writing about this because I just shaved my legs and took a chunk out of the back of my leg. Happy Labor Day weekend...off to a great start. Thankfully my capri pants will cover the wound.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Yuck
So I changed the colors around. I already don't like them. And not that I care if you do or not, but you probably don't either. It's settled then...I'll be changing them again soon.
You'll Always Be A Whore!
People annoying me lately...the Spitzer hooker. He's a complete scumbag, yes...but you went public about your trysts with him to advance your career. Your singing career. Guess what...nobody's heard your songs so I'm sure you suck. And now your mom is mad that 'ol Spitz might be getting back into the political game.
Go back to whoring...I bet you could make way more than $4000 a lay now. Just sayin...
Go back to whoring...I bet you could make way more than $4000 a lay now. Just sayin...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
My 25 Things…
Well, everybody's been harping on me to blog...so I figured I'd just post this on here, rather than Facebook. I'm not going to tag anybody anyway...I want to hear what you all have to say and I've procrastinated long enough that most of you have already done it. And I only did it today because I've noticed some of the same things on other peoples and I didn't want you to think I was unoriginal.
1. Some of the best advice I ever received was “Fuck ‘em.” Don’t take any shit from anybody. And if someone isn’t respecting you, well, “fuck’em.” It’s their loss.
2. I need to learn how to forgive. I rarely, if ever do it, and I probably should do it a little more. Not everybody, but some people, deserve second chances. Now, if I could just get a few of them second chances from people who should forgive me, I’d be set!
3. The only “religious” thing I do is play the mega-millions lottery. Every Tuesday and Friday baby.
4. I have only skied one time in my life, four years ago, and I’m freakishly good at it.
5. I am completely bugging out about not being 29 anymore. See…I won’t even say the age, I just refer to it as not being 29 anymore.
6. I was kidding about the lottery being the only religious thing I do. I also say a prayer every time an ambulance passes me with its lights on.
7. I have saved every ticket stub to the concerts, games, movies and so on that I have been to for the last ten years. I wish I had started doing it even earlier.
8. I think everyone should spend more time with their parents…regardless of their faults and your issues with them. Trust me on this one, you’ll miss them when they’re gone…more than you can possibly comprehend until it happens.
9. I really want to win an Academy Award. I have not, and will probably never, give up on this dream. (Most likely for screenwriting, directing or producing. But, I’d even take one for acting…and we’d all have to cross our fingers that it’s an off year for every other actress in Hollywood.)
10. If I wasn’t so worried about being stuck in some bullshit corporate job for the rest of my life where you’re judged on appearances and stupid crap like that, I’d probably have a ton of tattoos. I already have four and I love them.
11. I’m pretty sure I won’t have some bullshit corporate job for the rest of my life for a lot of reasons. A: I don’t do ass-kissing and that, apparently, is the key to success. B: I despise huge corporations. (Unfortunately, I sort of work for one of the biggest.) I’m pretty sure they’re ruining the world. Especially chain restaurants. Yuck. Except maybe Starbucks though, cause they’re trying to save babies in Africa and nice shit like that.
12. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I also haven’t accepted the fact that I am already a “grown-up.”
13. I want to spend at least one day in every one of the 50 states. Even Arkansas, Alabama and Mississippi. And West Virginia. And Oklahoma. You get the drift. 17 down, 33 to go.
14. Out of those 17, New Jersey is still my absolute favorite and probably always will be. California is a very close second.
15. Mustangs are my favorite car. I have loved them since I was a kid, but have never owned one. Yet. I love all years, shapes and sizes. Even the ugly ones from the ‘80’s.
16. I get bored with things very easily…this is why it’s taken me two weeks to finish this little project.
17. My biological clock seems to have kicked itself into HIGH gear lately. This is not good.
18. I also want to visit all seven continents. Especially Australia and Antarctica.
19. I think Australian people are the nicest, funniest people I have ever met. I only know a few, but they always make me laugh.
20. I don’t know anything about my paternal grandfather’s family and I have always wished I was the long lost heir to the English Muffin fortune. Sadly, I have googled this and found that it is not true. Damn it.
21. I would probably take my dog to the beach every day if weather and time permitted it. It’s one of the most relaxing things I do.
22. I have learned to embrace my ADD. I can “zone out” like a champion and I love it. Oh…by the way, sometimes when you’re talking to me, I’m not hearing a word you’re saying.
23. I love to do crossword puzzles, but, only Monday through Wednesday.
24. I really miss playing hockey.
25. This better not be a jinx…but I have never broken a bone. My mother credits this to the fact that she made me drink milk all the time as a child. I have had multiple concussions (explains a lot) and sprains, but never a break. I’d like to keep this record in tact. And I still love milk.
1. Some of the best advice I ever received was “Fuck ‘em.” Don’t take any shit from anybody. And if someone isn’t respecting you, well, “fuck’em.” It’s their loss.
2. I need to learn how to forgive. I rarely, if ever do it, and I probably should do it a little more. Not everybody, but some people, deserve second chances. Now, if I could just get a few of them second chances from people who should forgive me, I’d be set!
3. The only “religious” thing I do is play the mega-millions lottery. Every Tuesday and Friday baby.
4. I have only skied one time in my life, four years ago, and I’m freakishly good at it.
5. I am completely bugging out about not being 29 anymore. See…I won’t even say the age, I just refer to it as not being 29 anymore.
6. I was kidding about the lottery being the only religious thing I do. I also say a prayer every time an ambulance passes me with its lights on.
7. I have saved every ticket stub to the concerts, games, movies and so on that I have been to for the last ten years. I wish I had started doing it even earlier.
8. I think everyone should spend more time with their parents…regardless of their faults and your issues with them. Trust me on this one, you’ll miss them when they’re gone…more than you can possibly comprehend until it happens.
9. I really want to win an Academy Award. I have not, and will probably never, give up on this dream. (Most likely for screenwriting, directing or producing. But, I’d even take one for acting…and we’d all have to cross our fingers that it’s an off year for every other actress in Hollywood.)
10. If I wasn’t so worried about being stuck in some bullshit corporate job for the rest of my life where you’re judged on appearances and stupid crap like that, I’d probably have a ton of tattoos. I already have four and I love them.
11. I’m pretty sure I won’t have some bullshit corporate job for the rest of my life for a lot of reasons. A: I don’t do ass-kissing and that, apparently, is the key to success. B: I despise huge corporations. (Unfortunately, I sort of work for one of the biggest.) I’m pretty sure they’re ruining the world. Especially chain restaurants. Yuck. Except maybe Starbucks though, cause they’re trying to save babies in Africa and nice shit like that.
12. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I also haven’t accepted the fact that I am already a “grown-up.”
13. I want to spend at least one day in every one of the 50 states. Even Arkansas, Alabama and Mississippi. And West Virginia. And Oklahoma. You get the drift. 17 down, 33 to go.
14. Out of those 17, New Jersey is still my absolute favorite and probably always will be. California is a very close second.
15. Mustangs are my favorite car. I have loved them since I was a kid, but have never owned one. Yet. I love all years, shapes and sizes. Even the ugly ones from the ‘80’s.
16. I get bored with things very easily…this is why it’s taken me two weeks to finish this little project.
17. My biological clock seems to have kicked itself into HIGH gear lately. This is not good.
18. I also want to visit all seven continents. Especially Australia and Antarctica.
19. I think Australian people are the nicest, funniest people I have ever met. I only know a few, but they always make me laugh.
20. I don’t know anything about my paternal grandfather’s family and I have always wished I was the long lost heir to the English Muffin fortune. Sadly, I have googled this and found that it is not true. Damn it.
21. I would probably take my dog to the beach every day if weather and time permitted it. It’s one of the most relaxing things I do.
22. I have learned to embrace my ADD. I can “zone out” like a champion and I love it. Oh…by the way, sometimes when you’re talking to me, I’m not hearing a word you’re saying.
23. I love to do crossword puzzles, but, only Monday through Wednesday.
24. I really miss playing hockey.
25. This better not be a jinx…but I have never broken a bone. My mother credits this to the fact that she made me drink milk all the time as a child. I have had multiple concussions (explains a lot) and sprains, but never a break. I’d like to keep this record in tact. And I still love milk.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Settle Down...I Was Buying Underwear...
Jeez...I was just taking a little rest. I'm practically unemployed and I quit smoking and I'm back being super good on my diet(sorta), so give a girl a break. I'm going to post one very, very soon. For instance...If I don't go out tonight, you might see it on here tomorrow. If I'm motivated.
I will leave you with this to think about...I have found that I buy underwear compulsively. Even though I'm a big ol' lesbo, I am still a girl and like most girls, I have compulsive shopping habits. I don't have a shoe problem considering it's not fun for me to buy shoes. I have big feet and if they get any bigger I'll have to buy fancy high heels and dress shoes at the shop where cross-dressers get them. I, apparently, am an underwear girl.
I know...I don't get it either. It's not like I look that cute with no clothes on...or have a long line of girls anxiously waiting to see me in said underwear. I just keep buying them though...all different styles too, from boy shorts to string bikinis. And a variety of colors and patterns. Fucking weird. I just bought some more today. And I have no money for random shopping. Whatever.
Well...you wanted another blog...so you got it. And now that I've just conjured up some dirty thoughts of me in my underwear for ya...the only other thing I can say is have a good night. And sweet dreams!
**And for those of you who decide to be funny and comment about images of me in my underwear causing nightmares rather than sweet dreams, you will not be posted. And I'm preemptively calling you an asshole right now!
I will leave you with this to think about...I have found that I buy underwear compulsively. Even though I'm a big ol' lesbo, I am still a girl and like most girls, I have compulsive shopping habits. I don't have a shoe problem considering it's not fun for me to buy shoes. I have big feet and if they get any bigger I'll have to buy fancy high heels and dress shoes at the shop where cross-dressers get them. I, apparently, am an underwear girl.
I know...I don't get it either. It's not like I look that cute with no clothes on...or have a long line of girls anxiously waiting to see me in said underwear. I just keep buying them though...all different styles too, from boy shorts to string bikinis. And a variety of colors and patterns. Fucking weird. I just bought some more today. And I have no money for random shopping. Whatever.
Well...you wanted another blog...so you got it. And now that I've just conjured up some dirty thoughts of me in my underwear for ya...the only other thing I can say is have a good night. And sweet dreams!
**And for those of you who decide to be funny and comment about images of me in my underwear causing nightmares rather than sweet dreams, you will not be posted. And I'm preemptively calling you an asshole right now!
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