Oh Canada!

So every Thursday night at The Ark is trivia night. A bunch of us used to go every week and play until it got too crazy and loud and stopped being fun. I actually hadn't been there on a Thursday night in a while, when K decided we should go there last Thursday for a drink.

Trivia was well under way and we weren't planning on playing, so we grabbed a seat at the bar and ordered our drinks. Well, it's kind of hard not to participate when you can hear all the questions being answered. Plus, the bartenders were playing and everybody around you winds up disucssing the questions that they're asking.

I'm really just trying to watch the Yankee game, when one question that seemed to stump a lot of people came up...What country starts with the letter O? J the bartender seemed to think it was Oman, a country in the Middle East. I wasn't sure, but it did sound familiar to me. K was not convinced though...

K: Is it Ottawa?

B: No...Ottawa is a city in Canada.

K: Oh. It must be Ontario then.

B: (Shaking my head) No, Ontario is a state in Canada.

(And before you all start commenting me to remind me that Ontario is not a state, but actually a province...I know. It was just easier to explain to K that it was a state. I would have f*cked her whole night up if I threw a new big word at her like province.)

K: Oh. I don't know what it is then.

I thought the whole Canadian problem was over with...but no, here comes H, one of the waitresses there.

H: I thought it was Ontario.

K just laughed...I explained that it was a state in Canada and went back to watching the Yankee game. I know K was serious, but I'm kind of hoping H knew better...

Jay Z Album

So I'm definitely not big into rap/hip-hop at all, but I have to say the new Jay Z album is really great. Empire State of Mind with Alicia Keys is so good...and Run this Town with Rihanna...I love it.

Kanye West

IS THE BIGGEST DOUCHE BAG ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.

I'm done yelling now. I'm pretty sure the name "Kanye" means loudmouth asshole in some African tribal language.

Congratulations Derek!

As most of you know, I am a die hard Yankee fan. And one of my favorite players is Derek Jeter. He is the epitome of class, on and off the field. Last night, he tied Lou Gehrig's record for most hits as a Yankee with 2,721. Just so you know, that's more hits than Don Mattingly had (2,153), than Yogi Berra had (2,148), than Joe DiMaggio had (2,214)and more than many other Yankee greats, like Mickey Mantle and Babe Ruth.

Last night's hits also landed him in a tie with Gehrig at #53 on the all time hits list. Yeah Jeter!

I've Got Legs, and Apparently, Don't Know How to Use Them

So I've been shaving my legs regularly upwards of twenty f*cking years now. Yet, for some reason, almost every time I partake in this silly ritual, I slice the shit out of myself. What gives? I'm going to have to go back to using that stupid flicker razor thing that little girls use when they first start shaving their legs.

OOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

I'm only writing about this because I just shaved my legs and took a chunk out of the back of my leg. Happy Labor Day weekend...off to a great start. Thankfully my capri pants will cover the wound.

Yuck

So I changed the colors around. I already don't like them. And not that I care if you do or not, but you probably don't either. It's settled then...I'll be changing them again soon.

You'll Always Be A Whore!

People annoying me lately...the Spitzer hooker. He's a complete scumbag, yes...but you went public about your trysts with him to advance your career. Your singing career. Guess what...nobody's heard your songs so I'm sure you suck. And now your mom is mad that 'ol Spitz might be getting back into the political game.

Go back to whoring...I bet you could make way more than $4000 a lay now. Just sayin...