Corporate Email

As you all know, I work in news at a major television network. You probably have also come to realize that I HATE my job with a level of passion that is probably unhealthy. It reached an all new high last week when the corporate assholes sent out the following email. Some of it has been edited so that you can’t tell what network it is(for example: -B- is the network name, but all three of the major ones have a B in the middle...I'm so tricky!) I know, I know, most of you are already aware of where I work. But, I’m allegedly not allowed to voice my opinions as a representative of said company, so when I post stuff on the internet I’ve got to cover it up. And as much as I’d like to tell them to go fuck off, I do need money and therefore, need this job until I can find a suitable replacement.

Sent: Thursday, September 18, 2008 7:27 PM
Subject: -B- Premiere Week is Here!

-B- has declared Premiere Week to be National Stay at Home Week! So starting on Sunday, if you're not supposed to be working, stay home every night, save gas, and watch your favorite shows on –B-!

The new fall season starts this Sunday at 8pm with (I took the rest of this paragraph out because it was mostly lots of bullshit and a rundown of the weeks shows, which would give away the networks identity.)

This is just the start of the excitement. See below for the full list of premieres coming your way over the next few weeks. For more information or to catch up on your favorite shows before they premiere, go to www.we-are-a-bunch-of-narcissistic-freaks.com (I also changed their website!)

Are they serious with this shit? They sent this to all of their employees. Now I’m boycotting their shows on principle.