I've come to accept the fact that I'm a freak magnet. No matter where I am or who I'm with, if there is somebody "mentally impaired" (and by that I mean "fucking crazy") around, they will, inevitably strike up a conversation with me. It's just the way things go. So why would the last day, my travel day home be any different for me?
I had it all figured out. I was on the light rail back to the airport. One hour on the train, one to two hours through security and waiting around SEA-TAC, five hours on the plane, one and a half hours to get luggage, the car and get home and far, far away from L...forever. And maybe even see some sunshine when I woke up the next morning. Because after a week there, L had been in a nasty drunken stupor most of the time and I only saw the sun for 20 minutes. And, by the way, the space needle is stupid.
I was enjoying the welcome sense of relief when I got on the train. All I kept thinking was, "less than 12 hours and I'm free." I settled into a corner and got my book out. I didn't want to socialize with anyone else for the rest of the day. This was a great plan until the very next stop...when my new best friend/weather girl got on and sat across from me. I glanced up when she got on, but quickly looked back to my book to avoid anymore trivial conversation.
I was doing a great job ignoring her until I heard my phone go off with that familiar text message alert. I knew it was L. I just frigin knew it. So I pulled out my phone and see, of course from L, "Crazy pants is staring at you." And that's when I make the mistake of looking up. And then I made eye contact. Son of a...
CP: Where you headed?
B: New Jersey.
CP: Oh. Why are you going there?
B: Because I live there.
CP: Well the weather is horrible there.
B: Excuse me?
Now she's gone and pissed me off. She made a funny face when I said NJ, and now she's going to shit talk my favorite place in the world. And, most importantly, she has no room to talk because THE WEATHER IN SEATTLE IS ALWAYS HORRIBLE.
Of course I look over and L can barely control herself from busting out in hysterical laughter. If she didn't text me, I wouldn't have looked up and I most certainly wouldn't be engaged in conversation with this nut job. Everything is always L's fault and it always will be.
CP: I was in Connecticut a couple of weeks ago and the weather was horrible.
B: Well I don't live in Connecticut, I live in NJ and it's the greatest place on Earth. And it doesn't always rain there like it does here in this God forsaken place.
She started to say something else, but I was done. I stuck my face back in my book and ignored her and giggles sitting next to me. I had just spent five awkward days at L's brothers house where her and I were constantly bickering at each other. And if we weren't there I was dragging her drunk ass out of some bar because she got flagged for passing out in the bathroom. I also got punched on a city bus and I only saw 20 minutes of frigin sunshine the entire time I was there. I was done with Seattle and everything that had to do with it.
So...the moral of the story is...L is always wrong, I am always being accosted by crazy people and Seattle is awful. And...by the way, it rained for three days straight when I got home. I wouldn't have had it any other way...
