Eddie the Doorman

Eddie the Doorman has become my pal over the last two years of me working at the big unnamed TV network. His fancy building is right next to the back door of work. So I see him regularly on my way in and out for the day and countless times in between when I go down to smoke cigarettes.

He’s a hardworking, middle aged guy that grew up in Peru. Now he lives in Queens and he’s no different than me in the sense that we both hate our jobs.

Our talks usually revolve around New York baseball, (unless one of the rich people in his building pissed him off…then he’ll bitch about them) he being a Mets fan and I a Yankees fan. All through the spring, it wasn’t such a good time being a fan of either one.

The Yankees have started to come around a little bit, but the Mets are still having some problems. This was more than evident last Monday night when I went down for a cigarette. Here’s what an unusually cranky Eddie had to say…

B: Hey Eddie…what’s up?

E: (shaking his head) Hello Beptsey (that’s how my name sounds with his accent). I know, I know…the Mets are losing.

B: Oh, they are? I was busy and hadn’t checked the score.

E: You know Santana. The pitcher. Johan.

B: Yeah…Johan Santana. He started tonight.

E: Yeah. He gave up home run.

B: Well, he’s good, but that happens every once in a while.

E: But it wasn’t just home run. It was grand slam home run.

B: Oh. That kind of sucks. It still happens though.

E: But it was a grand slam home run to an American League pitcher.

B: Wow. That really blows Eddie. I’m sorry.

E: (shaking his head again as he walks in his building without saying “goodbye.”) I don't know...these Mets.

For those of you who don’t understand this, American League pitchers rarely bat. Only when they’re playing interleague games in National League stadiums. And I found out after the fact that this was the first time in 37 years an AL pitcher has hit a grand slam.

Poor Eddie.