Take my job and shove it...

So I’m at work, and we’re ordering dinner, Burrito Box, my favorite. And I have no cash on me. So I have to run to the ATM. Wouldn’t you know that in the ten minute round trip walk I have, I manage to get accosted by a homeless woman. Fuck her and her attitude.

I’m walking along, smoking a cigarette and enjoying the nice evening away from my office (because it’s been an annoying week, and an even more annoying night there) and I’m one block away from the bank when I hear the homeless woman call out to me. The light changes and I have to stop on the corner.

HW: Hey, you got a cigarette for me?

B: Nah…sorry.

HW: Fuck you bitch. Be thankful you got a job. (I’m assuming she saw my employee ID card hanging around my neck)

Now, much to the delight of the other five or so people on the corner, who were seemingly all employed and equally as frustrated with their jobs as I am, I spin around, wave my ID at her and say with a crazed smirk on my face,

B: You want my job? You can fucking have it. You have to go live in thirty minutes. Don’t be late.

The others on the corner start laughing. She shut up.

Now, for all of you bleeding hearts who are reading this and think I’m so terribly mean because I wouldn’t give her a cigarette, you can just get over it too.

Firstly, cigarettes are $7 a pack. It’s not my job to support her. I’ll show her my pay stub and all the money the government took out that I’m sure is going to her in one way or another.

Secondly, she had a bad attitude. She didn’t ask nicely at all and it was like my homeless sense took over and I knew she was going to get confrontational. She had the crazy look.

Thirdly, if I went around giving out money and/or cigarettes to every homeless person I saw I wouldn’t just need the job I have already, but yet another one.

So like I said, get over it.