Birthday Wishes from Beyond

Most of you probably know that my father passed away a couple of years ago. And of course, me being me, I haven’t said much about it. But those are my issues and I’ll deal with them when I’m ready.

He was a good guy. A professional gambler at that. The last few years of his life he was going to Vegas for black jack tournaments once a month. And there’s actually a very funny story about one of the last times he was in Vegas and Kool and the Gang was playing the same week. It just so happens that one of the members of Kool and the Gang has the same name. And my father was getting random calls all hours of the day and night from obsessed fans, girls, whoever. Having had enough of the late night shenanigans, he tells his host at the casino that he needs an alias for staying at the hotel. And then of course calls home to tell my mom that she needs to ask for an Al Miller if she wants to talk to him…what the fuck? Only this shit could happen to my poor dad.

Anyway, flash forward to April of 2008. It’s my birthday and only a couple of days before, my dad would have turned 65. I wake up and expect it to be a great day. Lots of good emails and myspace messages. Who wouldn’t be happy? But, for some reason, as I’m getting ready to go out to dinner with my friends, I start to have anxiety. I don’t know what brought it on, I don’t know if I ever will. Is it because I’m worried the girl I was dating isn’t going to show up later, or did I somehow know I would see my arch enemy while at dinner? So, I decide to listen to the card my mom bought me. The stupid sound effects one. The irony is that it’s not the card I wanted…she knew I wanted the Scooby Doo one. You know, because I’m 29. But no, she grabs the sophisticated one with high heels on the cover. Because I’m a real lady. And it says something along the lines of that if I think everything is about me this evening, well, I’m right, because it’s Ladies Night. And that’s the song it plays when you open it.

So I open up the card and it plays its music. And in the middle of getting dressed I just stop dead. I can’t help but think who sings this song…is it KC and the Sunshine Band? Or is it Kool and the Gang? I’ve always gotten them confused. And without looking, while the song plays…I realize it’s Kool and the Gang. And that’s when I turn the card over. Not even knowing that the song credits are on the back. And I look down right at my father’s name. On my birthday card.

I know it’s not the same Dennis Thomas. That name is on the thousands of that card that were printed. But I can’t help but wonder, what made my mother pick that one? With high heels on it…so unlike me.

I just have to accept the fact that things sometimes just happen. And coincidences are exactly that. Coincidences. But there’s a part of me that believes he just wanted to say Happy Birthday. And to let me know he’s watching out for me and that everything will be ok.

I have to believe that. It’s the only thing I have to hold on to.