First off my heartfelt thanx to B for allowing me to post this here. You see I can’t post this on any of my own pages as I would probably be fired from my fortune 500 company (or at least put in a time-out). I’ll preface this story with the fact that I work for the computer solutions division of my company but we also run a website that sells consumer electronics as well.
Also let me explain that I am a technical engineer, I have a string of alphabet certifications that looks like someone dumped a bunch of scrabble tiles after my name. Some of these certifications require me to do things like resolve DNS addresses by way of doing Boolean algebra in my head. Now I’m not trying to toot my own horn here I’m just trying to give you an idea of what someone with my job title is expected to be able to do. I normally spend my work days doing things like configuring cluster servers for large corporations, setting up massive terabyte storage systems and doing in-depth conference calls with customers about computer networking needs.
Starting this week the powers that be decided I would be placed on a pre-sales email queue and would assist sales people with finding technical solutions. Naturally I protested this move, alas to no avail. So today instead of putting together $100k plus quotes I am doing things like looking up specs on an apple iTouch and finding toner for the office printer when a request comes in from a sales rep . The request is from his customer who wants us to look up the parts on her husband’s Christmas wish list. The customer describes her husband as “having very expensive and exotic tastes”. Ok so right off the bat I am being asked to do someone else’s Christmas shopping! Next I open the attached “expensive and exotic” shopping list to find I am being asked to look up part numbers for...and I’m not kidding…Tony Hawk’s Xbox games and a set of gaming headphones. If this is what the customer believes are her husband’s exotic tastes I’d hate to see what their sex life is like.
Anyway I protest having to answer this request all the way up the chain of command. You might think my management would agree that this is a huge waste of my time and talents not to mention the tens of thousands of dollars they have spent on sending me all over the country for technical trainings, well you’d be wrong. I am told I need to be a “team player “and that in this economy no customer request is too small. While my management congratulates itself on making every customer feel special (not like the Olympics special) I am forced to stop working on a $300k blade server deal to look up part numbers of Xbox games so that this customer’s husband can relive the shredding days of his skateboarding 80’s past.
Well I did complete the request, however I added a few part numbers to the wish list I thought the customer might enjoy such as: The Women of Xbox Calendar, Leisure Suit Larry Hot Tub Fantasy Adventures game, and my personal favorite; The Mangroomer Private Body Shaver for those personal and hard to tame areas. Needless to say I will be looking for a new job soon. Perhaps BestBuy or the local Adult bookstore is hiring.
-X
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