My Mechanic…

…hates me. Well, he doesn’t really hate me, I just make him crazy. He seems to think that I should know everything about cars. Well, I don’t. And if I did, I would just fix the shit myself…leaving him unemployed. I think he should be thankful that I’m a little car retarded.

Anyway…this is what went down last week when I went in for an oil change. And I had noticed that a few days earlier, a light came on on my dashboard. It was an exclamation point. I have no idea what this means, but I do seem to remember it happening before and I thought it had something to do with tire pressure. I know, I know, I could have looked in my manual, but I figured it couldn’t be that important and it could wait a week until I took the car in. So I stop in one afternoon and ask him if I can drop it off the next morning. He happens to be on the phone, so he’s nodding his head yes to me. Then I tell him about the light, he shrugs but still nods his head yes. I tell him it’s an exclamation point and that I’m not sure if it’s happy or scared. He shrugs again. I’m guessing at this point that he seems to think it’s ok. I wave and leave.

I get there nice and early the next morning to drop it off and he’s asking me if I need my tires rotated. I actually have no idea, but I tell him no because I’m pretty sure he did it the last time. And I remind him about the light. He says he’ll check it and let me know. So I leave him my keys and he tells me he’ll call me that afternoon when it’s finished.

He calls me a few hours later and tells me it’s ready. And how much to bring, because he really likes cash and not giving receipts. Hmmm…anyway, I head on over and he tells me everything is fine. The light meant that I needed air in my tires. “Which one,” I ask him, “None of them looked low.” He looks at me like I’m crazy and told me all four of them needed air. Whoops. And then he reminds me that I was a little overdue for my oil change…

M: You waited too long this time to come in for the oil change.

B: Well, it’s highway miles. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

He doesn’t seem to like this response.

M: (shaking his head at me, but smiling) Get out. You make me crazy.

B: You know, just because I’m not some dainty little ballerina like thing, doesn’t mean I know shit about cars…

M: (still shaking his head and laughing at me) I can’t take you…go home.

So I left. I’ve noticed I invoke a lot of head shaking out of people. They’re usually laughing or smiling when they’re doing it, so I figure it can’t be that bad. I hope.