Squirrel Proof?

Last Sunday I was over at my grandmother’s house for family day. I’ve started calling it family day, because almost every Sunday for the last seven or eight years one of my uncles always seems to wind up at Crazy Nanny’s to hang out for the day.

I can see my ADD is kicked in pretty good tonight, because the point of the story is not about my family. It’s about Crazy Nanny’s new bird feeder. And this new feeder is supposed to be squirrel proof. Sure it is.

We were all hanging out watching football and/or playing with the baby. I was sitting on the couch still cursing the Eagles from the week before for costing me a strike in my elimination pool. Assholes. Anyway, out of the blue, my aunt starts laughing and she points to Nanny’s deck.



Squirrel proof my ass. You see the little bastard hanging upside down. He ate like a savage.

Nanny is quite possibly the hardest person to shop for, so I’ve been thinking there’s a Red Ryder BB gun in her future. Why not? She’s already voiced her annoyance at having to keep walking out onto the lawn when it’s cold out to get the bat she threw to get rid of the squirrels. Now all she'll have to do is crack a window and fire away.

I have to say though, I’m secretly rooting for the squirrels. Just don’t tell Nanny because she’s liable to shoot me with the BB gun. Really, I wouldn’t put it past her!